The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

It’ll have been 7 years this July that I moved out of my folks’. Since then we’ve had some good times, we’ve had some bad times, but that’s sort of life anyway. I’ve seen photos of my younger siblings…all grown up now. I hardly even recognize some of them, they look so different! I have never regretted leaving, but I do miss them, a lot. I’ve showed Ari pictures and we talk about them on a regular basis. Leaving was […]

Posted by Phoenix On Feb - 20 - 2017 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I sit with my back against the wall in his tiny office, my arms wrapped around my knees. Maybe if I curl up small enough, he’ll forget about me. Maybe he’ll stop drilling me with his eyes. But he doesn’t; he loves the sound of his own voice, as he talks on and on about my duty and responsibility to stay with them forever until he finds a suitable mate; about his own authority over me; about all the bad […]

Posted by Phoenix On Mar - 8 - 2016 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I realize this entire post comes from my own experience, but I think I will make some good points. When I was a kid, we were made to share rooms. With 12 kids, you can’t really get each kid their own room (which is partly why I think having a ton of kids is irresponsible). I hated it. Being an introvert, I need my own space, and especially in a family of that size, a personal space to call your […]

Posted by Phoenix On Jan - 16 - 2014 2 Comments READ FULL POST

Wow, it’s November already! Time is going extremely fast and extremely slow at the same time. It feels like just yesterday when Ari was born and now she’s nearly a year…but at the same time I remember all of the long nights and stuff. Kind of weird. Speaking of Ari, she just had her first Halloween! I dressed her as a baby ballerina…SO CUTE!!! Isn’t she just the adorableness??? I didn’t get her slippers done in time so I just […]

Posted by Phoenix On Nov - 5 - 2012 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I’ve started so many posts that I haven’t finished or published! I figured that since I’m just sitting here nursing the baby, that I’d just talk about stuff that’s happened lately! *** I got a job!!! I’m working at a Sears portrait studio. So far it’s a lot of fun! Since I already have photography experience, I was shooting on the first day! I feel like sales is a bit more difficult for me, but I take it as a […]

Posted by Phoenix On Aug - 26 - 2012 1 Comment READ FULL POST

I can’t say I don’t love my mom, because I do. I’ve got a card to send her, even though I was given specific instructions to NOT contact them. But besides the ‘real’ mothers, I’ve decided to celebrate US…the second mothers. The ones who took care of many of our siblings, often underappreciated and unrecognized. In some cases, besides birthing, we have done more for our siblings than our moms have. My sister HAS raised my second youngest sister. Abby […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 8 - 2011 3 Comments READ FULL POST

I wish I hadn’t done a lot of things, and wish I could change other things, but basically, I have one regret in my life. One thing that I wish I had done differently. One thing that still angers me to think about, because of the cruelty. Today, thanks to a friend of mine who posted the link on facebook, I read an article titled “First time obedience, really?” First-time obedience is something that is extremely important in my family. […]

Posted by Phoenix On Mar - 6 - 2011 19 Comments READ FULL POST

And I never want to let you down Forgive me if I slip away Sometimes it’s hard to find the ground Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away From this crazy world   Sometimes I feel as though my family died. And Joe and I are the only ones left. Sometimes it’s easier to believe they’re dead, than to try to grasp the reality. They think I’m heartless and callous. That I’ll forget them and move […]

Posted by Phoenix On Feb - 21 - 2011 29 Comments READ FULL POST
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Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

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