The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

I have not made a New Year’s resolution in many years. Why? Well, I didn’t like being stuck to rules, not even self-imposed ones. However, I have decided this year that will change (at least for this year), and for a very important reason. So without further ado, here is my New Year’s resolution: I resolve to be selfish. Yup. For way too many years, the concept of “being selfish” was ingrained in me as A Bad Thing. Anything that […]

Posted by Phoenix On Dec - 31 - 2016 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I haven’t written a post here in a LONG time, mostly because I haven’t really felt the need to get a lot off my chest…after six years I’m doing so much better than I probably would have thought possible back then. Of course there are still lingering issues and trigger situations (I almost walked out of work on Saturday), but overall…much improved. Apparently, though, I still get really depressed and on-edge around May-July, which is when all the shit went […]

Posted by Phoenix On Aug - 29 - 2016 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I sit with my back against the wall in his tiny office, my arms wrapped around my knees. Maybe if I curl up small enough, he’ll forget about me. Maybe he’ll stop drilling me with his eyes. But he doesn’t; he loves the sound of his own voice, as he talks on and on about my duty and responsibility to stay with them forever until he finds a suitable mate; about his own authority over me; about all the bad […]

Posted by Phoenix On Mar - 8 - 2016 Add Comments READ FULL POST

Five years ago today, I declared my independence. I’d had enough of the sheltering and smothering and abuse from my folks. Leaving was the only way to keep my sanity. “So what are you going to do? This is your last chance,” I was told. I was terrified. I was afraid that something very bad would happen if I said I was leaving (would he hit me?); I was afraid I would take my life if I stayed. After half […]

Posted by Phoenix On Jul - 4 - 2015 Add Comments READ FULL POST

So…I’m a little late to the party, but we JUST saw Frozen (thanks to our awesome Dish setup). I’ve seen all sorts of opinions on this movie, from “omg, so stupid, if I hear “Let It Go” one more time I’m going to go batshit!” to “omg, I love it!!” I’ve read some of the negative reviews, and I only have one thing to say…let it go. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself. 😀 ) It’s a kid’s movie. All of the […]

Posted by Phoenix On Apr - 3 - 2014 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I probably say this too much, but I LOVE that I now have the freedom to just be myself. There are SO many things that I almost take for granted now that I couldn’t do three and a half years ago. Mostly little things, that “normal” people DO take for granted, but some others too. I can paint my nails any color I want. I have a driver’s license. I have a bank account without my parents’ name on it. […]

Posted by Phoenix On Aug - 15 - 2013 Add Comments READ FULL POST

July 4th is kind of a mixed-emotion day for me. My parents aren’t really into the “freedom” and “independence” thing, since they say this country was founded on rebellion (while enjoying the freedoms!). July 4th took on a new meaning for me however when after a two-hour (or longer!) lecture on why I shouldn’t leave, I finally said I was going to move out. Hardest thing I’ve ever done, bar none. By then it was 10 pm, so the kids […]

Posted by Phoenix On Jul - 4 - 2013 10 Comments READ FULL POST
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Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

New Year's Resolutio

I have not made a New Year's resolution in many ...

Six Years!! (Basical

I haven't written a post here in a LONG time, ...


I sit with my back against the wall in his ...

Freedom Isn't Free

Five years ago today, I declared my independence. I'd had ...

Things I Learned

Things I've Learned From My Male Begetter: Family comes first. No ...