The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

Ari just turned three, in December. By the time I was three, my parents had three kids (me, 3, Ben, 1, and Joe, newborn). I can’t imagine having three children all Ari’s age or younger! I think about all the quality time I have with Ari, and it makes me so happy that I can do that. By the time Ruth was the age I am currently, they had seven kids (see the photo on the right). Today, Ari and […]

Posted by Phoenix On Jan - 3 - 2015 5 Comments READ FULL POST
My Baby Doll

Whoever said you can’t reason with toddlers is wrong. Dead wrong. If they’re right, Ari didn’t get the memo. When you have a relationship based on mutual trust and love, it’s really not all that difficult. We do it all the time, and have for months. Ari visited Grandma’s today, and someone they had with them is deathly allergic to peanuts. Ari had just had peanut butter, so Grandma wanted me to change her clothes. I had just put her […]

Posted by Phoenix On Oct - 15 - 2014 Add Comments READ FULL POST
What would YOU choose?

There are so many assholeish-towards-kids posts going viral. It’s really upsetting. There’s the guy that bought out all the McDonald’s pies because he was offended that a child was impatient (no, really? Children are impatient??). I really don’t care what the child was doing, nor what the mother was doing; the guy did an asshole thing and acted just as childish as the child…which really says a lot about HIS intelligence. Yet people are like “This guy is GREAT!” Why […]

Posted by Phoenix On Aug - 24 - 2014 2 Comments READ FULL POST

Dennis always said “kids are sponges”, which was the reason he needed to brainwash us into his religious fanaticism, so we wouldn’t soak up The World. Unfortunately, he had this huge double standard: on the one hand, “kids are sponges”, and on the other hand, “I must beat my kids into being good”. If there’s one thing I’ve thoroughly learned in the two years since I birthed Ari, it’s that the best way to raise a child is to set […]

Posted by Phoenix On Mar - 24 - 2014 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I realize this entire post comes from my own experience, but I think I will make some good points. When I was a kid, we were made to share rooms. With 12 kids, you can’t really get each kid their own room (which is partly why I think having a ton of kids is irresponsible). I hated it. Being an introvert, I need my own space, and especially in a family of that size, a personal space to call your […]

Posted by Phoenix On Jan - 16 - 2014 2 Comments READ FULL POST

When I was a kid, we were “well-behaved” in public (in other words, we didn’t behave like kids in public, we behaved like mini-adults). We didn’t go to children’s church or anything like that, we were expected to sit still and quiet (no drawing like the other kids, either!) during church services. It was all chalked up to my dad’s super-awesome powers of teaching us self-control. Of course, that’s never what he said in public though. The reality was, however, […]

Posted by Phoenix On Nov - 8 - 2013 2 Comments READ FULL POST

There are so many things I know now that I wish I knew when I was younger. A group I’m in wanted us to answer the question “What do you wish your 16-year-old self knew?”, and I’ve been thinking about writing a post along those lines anyway, so I just decided to do it now. What I Wish My Younger Self Knew I wish she knew everything wasn’t her fault. I wish she knew she didn’t have to be stuck […]

Posted by Phoenix On Oct - 15 - 2013 Add Comments READ FULL POST

When I was a kid, I was made to feel ashamed of my body. It was reinforced by not using proper terms for our own genitalia, and instead using vague terms like “boy parts” and “girl parts” or just “private parts”. “Penis”, “vagina”, “labia”, “vulva”, and “clitoris” were words we didn’t say (and didn’t even know until we were older). As my body developed during puberty, the shame I had previously felt over my body intensified. Until I was 18 […]

Posted by Phoenix On Sep - 30 - 2013 4 Comments READ FULL POST
  • RSS
  • Facebook
  • Twitter


Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

Recent Thoughts

It'll have been 7 years this July that I moved ...

New Year's Resolutio

I have not made a New Year's resolution in many ...

Six Years!! (Basical

I haven't written a post here in a LONG time, ...


I sit with my back against the wall in his ...

Freedom Isn't Free

Five years ago today, I declared my independence. I'd had ...