The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

I have not made a New Year’s resolution in many years. Why? Well, I didn’t like being stuck to rules, not even self-imposed ones. However, I have decided this year that will change (at least for this year), and for a very important reason. So without further ado, here is my New Year’s resolution:

I resolve to be selfish.

Yup.

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For way too many years, the concept of “being selfish” was ingrained in me as A Bad Thing. Anything that you preferred, anything you liked, anything that made you have a preference really was Being Selfish. This has caused me to put up with a lot of shit that I probably shouldn’t have, even over the last 6 years. Always putting everyone else first has caused me a lot of mental anguish, not to mention a strain on my time and resources as well.

Recent events have taught me a lot: I need to look after myself. Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is healthy, not only for me but for everyone else. Sure, after moving out of my folks’ I got the idea that self-care was good, but in a lot of ways, I still didn’t do it very much. Sure, there were things that I would be like “Nope, not gonna do that”, but sometimes I felt guilty.

Lately though I’ve come to realize the true importance of self-care, aka selfishness. If I’m running on low batteries, the people around me as well as myself will not be receiving the best of me.

I’m going to acknowledge and celebrate my accomplishments. I’m going to make sure that I get the care I need. I’m going to speak my mind, because my thought and opinions matter as well. If other people can speak their mind to me regardless of my feelings and reactions, as far as I’m concerned, I should be able to speak my mind as well. I’m not going to be rude of course, but my thoughts and opinions matter just as much as everyone else’s.

I’m a person. I don’t have to put up with bullshit. I don’t have to lay down and take everything anyone else throws at me. I don’t have to put up with relationships or situations that I don’t want to. This doesn’t mean I’m going to quit my job any time I don’t like it, that would just be stupid. But still, there are many things I can change to help myself. Anybody who really knows me knows I wouldn’t be stupid or rude on purpose (and if someone doesn’t know that they don’t have authority to comment on my life).

I don’t have to say things I don’t mean. I don’t have to put up with people who are not mutually beneficial to either of us.

This new year, I’m celebrating me.

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Phoenix On December - 31 - 2016

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Welcome!

Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

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