The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

***

I was there at my friend’s friend’s house for nearly two months. I was glad to be out of my parents’ house, and was very optimistic about life (for the first time ever). But after almost two months in that house, I was more than ready to leave. Sufficient to say, she treated me a lot like my dad did…she didn’t respect my boundaries, sort of lectured me (I don’t think she meant to lecture, but it felt like being with my dad), and blamed everything on me (including her getting sick again and me doubling her electric bill…wtf?). (There was more, but I forget what and I don’t care to remember.)

But I got a job. I got a bank account, without having my mom hold my hand. And I visited my relatives, flying for the second time in my life, but all by myself. It was kind of scary, but a lot of fun to be doing these things by myself. Sometimes I still miss doing things by myself…but that will have to wait until I get my driver’s license!

A family that I knew (the father was one of Ben’s coworkers) sort of took me in and became my “adopted” family. They drove me places that were too far to ride on my bike (another lady from the homeschool group was able to get me a bike through the church she went to!), and every Friday night I went over to their house for English muffin pizzas and movies (usually episodes of The Waltons).

Scottie’s birthday is the 26th of August. I didn’t have very much money (when I visited my relatives, I left with $4 in my pocket and to my name), so I was really at a loss as to what I would get him for his birthday. Then I suggested we get married. (Hey, he had already proposed, so it was fine for me to be saying this! Though he had wanted to do the on-one-knee thing…sadly it didn’t happen.) He liked that idea, but couldn’t find his birth certificate.

The night before Scottie’s visit (August 21st, Saturday), he and I had stayed up almost all night…partly from excitement and partly thanks to the fact that my “adopted” brother bought me two Monsters, and two for himself. I ended up drinking both of mine and the rest of one of his. Then he took me to the fair (he had some money saved away to take me to the fair and buy me things!! I felt so loved!!!)  and I was probably the most hyper I’d ever been! Plus, Scottie texted me that he had found his birth certificate in the middle of the night. I was so excited!

Joe brought me to the airport the next morning, where I waited for Scottie’s plane to come in. I moved around the room a few times, trying to figure out where the best place would be for him to see me first. I was so nervous and excited. Finally I saw his plane come in. Every time someone came out the gate, my insides jumped. Then I saw him. He looked around the room for me, and when he saw me, he ran over as I ran to him, he dropped his bags, and grabbed me in a giant bear hug. We were both so happy we were crying. The feelings I had at that moment were indescribable…but mostly, that I had found my home. I felt safe and extremely happy.

The only problem was he was squeezing me so tight that I couldn’t breathe, and the first words I said to him in person were “you’re squishing my breath!” He laughed and stopped hugging me so tight. Then he got his bags and took my hand and we went to find the rest of his luggage.

My first impression was that he was bigger than I had expected. (And I mean that in a completely non-sexual way!) He had told me how tall he was, so I knew it in my head, but it was a completely different thing having him here with me in person.

My “adopted” brother (the one who took me to the fair) picked us up from the airport (after we waited a LONG TIME for Scottie’s bags) and took us to the mall, where his folks were shopping. Scottie and I wandered around the mall together, then finally ended up sitting on a bench, cuddling and kissing. It was soo funny, we were in the middle of a kiss and a woman with a couple kids (10-12 year old kids) walked by and said “Don’t look, kids!” and something else funny (though she didn’t mean it that way) about inappropriate behavior in public…when there is absolutely nothing inappropriate about a kiss in public!

Monday, we hung out, and it was my first day of work. Tuesday we hung out, and I worked too. None of my friends wanted us to be alone together, so we stayed up really late in this cool sports bar. Actually, it was so late that sometimes they were closed for a while before they realized we were there! Scottie stayed at this house a few blocks from where I was living. It was sort of a guy house, with about five guys living there.

Wednesday, I was also scheduled to work. We hung out a while in the morning, then finally got our rears into gear and got our friend to take us to the deputy court clerk’s office. I had gotten a dress (just a simple black jumper-style made out of that stretchy black velvet stuff), and Scottie had brought his birth certificate, so we were set. (He wore his kilt, a white button-down, and a black vest.) The only problem was, we wanted to keep the wedding a secret, because so many people were telling us to wait and go slow, and we couldn’t figure out anyone else to have there as witness. So our friend called up some of her friends, and one of them came down to the courthouse.

It took way longer than we expected. It was $50 for marriage by written declaration. The lady made us swear to God that all the information we told her was correct so help us God. (lol) Then finally all the necessary stuff was filled out, and she said “Scottie, do you declare under oath that Anne is your first and only wife forever?” He said “Yes,” then she asked me “Anne, do you declare under oath that Scottie is your first and only husband forever?” I said “Yes” as well. She finished the certificate of marriage (she actually typed it all up right there…and added a big “Scottie and Anne” watermark, because legally, it had to say “Ronald Scott” and I said I didn’t feel married to Scottie if it only said “Ronald”!). We checked it, then she printed it, and notarized it. She made a couple copies, and we were good to go.

By this time, I was late for work. Scottie had called my boss from the court clerk’s office, telling her I was going to be late because I was getting married. She said it was alright. When we got there, Scottie showed her the marriage certificate while I went in the bathroom and changed into work clothes. She said it was the only time anyone had ever been late because they were getting married!

We spent the night in a car we borrowed from an online friend of ours. (Uh-huh.) The next day was Scottie’s birthday. I worked that day, then we went to Starbucks and hung out with Joe and Katie. At one point, Joe said it was his brotherly duty to ask Scottie’s opinion on a few matters. He did so, and then approved. I was kind of laughing inside because we were already married!

We were at Starbucks until they closed, then we stood outside for a while, then we went to Joe and Katie’s house. We finally ended up telling them we were married. It was a relief to not have to keep the secret, especially from my brother!

After that, we went to my “adopted” family’s. We told them we were married, and pretty much decided we could care less what people said…we weren’t going to keep it a secret anymore! (And besides, we didn’t want to spend any more nights in a car!) That night, we slept in the loft of their unfinished addition, on plywood. (We still hadn’t gotten around to telling very many people yet though.)

Friday, I don’t remember what happened. I think we hung out and called Scottie’s folks to tell them the news…then I worked, and we went down to visit the friend who had loaned us the car (in the dark…in the rain…in the twisty mountains…with NO highbeams). We stayed there Friday night and all of Saturday, then went back to my adopted family’s. We were going to sleep in the loft again, but it had rained and the blankets were all sopping, and it was too late at night to wake them up, so we slept in the car again. (Nobody besides Scottie’s folks, my brother, our online friend, and my “adopted” family knew we were married at that point.)

Sunday, we went to church and hung out all day. In the evening we went to Joe’s inlaws (and told them we were married) and spent some time there with them and Joe and Katie, and spent the night in their camper trailer.

Monday, Scottie was supposed to fly back to Oklahoma. He was going to go back and save up some money to fly me down there, but after talking to his parents, they said they’d fly me down there too! So we QUICK moved all my stuff to the storage unit, even quicker packed enough clothes to last us a couple weeks or so (Scottie had gotten a ticket for speeding, in the dark, in the rain, in the twisty mountains with no highbeams, and we understood it had to be paid in person or something since he was an out-of-state driver, plus we couldn’t get the glove box open to show insurance, so we were going to have to come back in a couple weeks).

We got to the airport…and found out there was some trouble with names, something with trouble between married and maiden.  (And then they didn’t want to take HIS ticket because his first name was different from his given name … first time ANY airport ever stopped him for that!)  By the time we got it all sorted out, we were too late for our flight.  I kind of lost it and broke down crying. It had been a stressful day and this was pretty much the last straw.

Well, we got things worked out so we could take a plane the next day, so we stayed in the motel I originally stayed in, just for the one night. Then we flew down to Oklahoma.

We lived in a tent in my inlaws’ backyard for like two or three weeks (and the trip back to Montana went fine, and we brought my stuff back), then moved into a house owned by a couple who goes to my inlaws’ church. (We were there for eight months or so, for free, which we really appreciate…the bad thing is that at the end of that, the woman of the house got really really upset and chewed me out saying all sorts of really mean things.) In April, we finally moved into our own apartment and are very happy here ^_^

I haven’t heard from any of my siblings (besides Joe, of course) or my parents since July. One time, my uncle relayed a status message I had written about my sister to her, and my dad told him that I had manipulated him into it (when I hadn’t even known about it until afterward) — and cut off his own brother from contact with the entire family! This response is typical of my dad though…he doesn’t wait for the facts, or reserve judgement. What happened fit in with the “sneaky” character traits he associates with me, so that was his judgement.

But anyway. Scottie and I are doing great…we have a baby on the way, our first anniversary in 25 days, and we couldn’t be happier!

Phoenix On August - 1 - 2011

18 Responses so far.

  1. Libby Anne says:

    I’m sorry, you started your married life IN A TENT? LOL. Love it!

    • QuicksilverQueen says:

      Yeah…after having our first night married in the backseat of a car! LOL! At least it was a roomy car!!

  2. Erika Martin says:

    I’m so happy for your both. I didn’t realize you weren’t yet married a year. The relationship that you and Scottie have, from what I’ve seen from your blog, is so tight and so awesome that it seems like the two of you have been together a lot longer than that.

    We started our married life in a basement – with no toilet, no kitchen, no stove, nothing. We had to use the bathroom and kitchen upstairs, in our landlord’s house. You know, I think that when married couples start out like that, they become stronger right off the bat because their love is so deep that conditions around them don’t matter. 🙂

    • QuicksilverQueen says:

      We haven’t technically been a couple for years, but we have been very close for four years, so maybe that counts. 😉 Plus, we’ve always been very honest with each other…and we have really stuck together through a lot. Even from 1200 miles away!

  3. Long distance relationships are awesome! Sometimes I’m on the third floor and Kristine is on the first and we chat online. It’s a blast flirting like that when you know you can run to the middle floor and meet for a smokin’ hot kiss.

    So happy for you guys.

  4. Rachel says:

    I love reading your story, your journey to love! You should seriously consider writing a book on it someday, too, or something. It’s something a lot of people need to read about, let me tell you… 😉

  5. Susan says:

    I have been reading your posts for the last few days .. and just got to here! Congratulations to both of you .. on your wedding …and on your new baby that must be due any second now !!!

    I am so glad that you have Scottie and that you know what love truly is.

    “1 Corinthians 13:4-7
    New International Version (NIV)
    4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

    This is how God is .. not … as so many like your father believe. His version of Christianity makes the loving God into a despot and he is anything BUT that. He wants love and gentleness for us all. Not fear, not cruelty … for love can only really BE love if we give it freely .. and not just because we are in fear. God bless all three of you XXX

    • QuicksilverQueen says:

      Thanks!! Actually the baby isn’t due until December…and I’m hoping s/he stays in there that long 😉

      Me too!!

      love can only really BE love if we give it freely .. and not just because we are in fear

      Yeah…that’s what I was trying to tell my dad when I left, when he asked me the reason I was leaving.

  6. Susan says:

    Ah sorry I misread that bit !!! December eh?? My husband and father in law are both December babies, my husband the 15th – and our wedding anniversary is the 17th. [It will be 34 yrs this year ) ] Our daughter had our second grandchild, a girl, on our wedding anniversary too and she will be 3 this year !!

    Enjoy your pregnancy [if you can – I know some can’t too much!] and enjoy every single second of that little one once she/he is born – because believe it or not, the time goes SO fast and before you know it you will be at their wedding!! I told my daughter this the day she had our first grandchild, a little boy, and she laughed. He will be 6 next week and she told me recently .. that NOW she understood !! lol! Much love … XX

    • QuicksilverQueen says:

      No problem 😉 I’m a December baby myself…I was born the 11th. My next sister’s birthday is the 9th, my aunt’s is the 10th, and my brother Joe shares the 11th with me. Then his wife is the 12th, and my sis in law is the 27th!

      Some days I enjoy it more than others. I like having an excuse to not do anything! 😉 The time just seems to go so slowly right now. Just in the last week I’ve been feeling the baby move…it makes it more REAL, more concrete, rather than abstract, you know?

      Thanks for your comments! 😀

  7. After over two years, I’m sure you’re doing much better! I just really wanted to comment and say how much your story speaks to me… breaks my heart, fills me with joy, all in the same sitting. The love you and Scottie share is amazing. I really hope everything is better now for the both of you <3

    May I also ask what part of montana you're from? My family lives there and my Dad and I used to live in Bozeman back in 2008-2009. Family lives in Helena and Great Falls. Bozeman's religious groups were…VERY strict. The curch we went to felt very much so like a cult setting. Anything that I did in their eyes was basically wrong. One time I said I hated spaghetti and they gasped and told me that hating anything was against the bible and I was sinning for saying such things. lol. I also felt like one of the guy's in the youth groups mom was like…trying to find a bride for him. Her children basically had no say. Oh, Montana…?

    • QuicksilverQueen says:

      Thank you!! It’s been a little over three years now and I know I’ve improved SO MUCH since then!!

      We lived just outside of Billings, but we didn’t attend any religious services or anything until the day I said I was leaving…that morning was the 4th of July, and the first time in over five years that we had attended any official service. They attended the same Baptist church regularly after I left, but now they moved so I don’t know what they’re doing now.

      Thank you so much for your sweet comment!!

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Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

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