The Eighth and Final Square

with courage face the thing you fear so the pawn becomes the queen

Archive for May, 2011

The only time God sends you away empty is when you’re full of yourself. There are so many things wrong with that statement it isn’t even funny, it’s just sad. #1, the person who’s saying that. Talk about full of himself. #2, God doesn’t send people away, if anybody walks away ts because they decided to, not because God sent them away. The difference between a LOVING god and a childish, vengeful, small god. #3, you can’t even come to […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 23 - 2011 4 Comments READ FULL POST

“You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” If I’m being honest with myself, I have to admit that right now I’m angry at my parents, my dad especially. (I still haven’t come to grips with the mom-enabler thing yet, when I do I’ll probably be angry at her too.) And I don’t think it’s a bad thing: I’ve had way to many years of having to bottle up all the anger […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 20 - 2011 11 Comments READ FULL POST

So last night I dreamt about my dad again, but it wasn’t quite as bad. I dreamt I was with these superhero-type people (sorta like the X-men…I was a healer) and when we came back from a mission, there was a big party for us. Well my dad was at the party, and I sat at his table. He started being mean…spilling things onto my plate of food, kicking my chair, etc. Then he started saying mean things. I kept […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 12 - 2011 Add Comments READ FULL POST

I had a bad dream last night. Well, bad and good…but it felt bad at the time. Good because I stood up to my dad, but bad because he was terrible. I dreamt I was visiting my family. We were eating dinner, and dad was really irritable. After dinner, everyone was cleaning up except me, because I didn’t have to — I didn’t live there anymore! (Joe was there and unmarried though.) Then Elle did something dad thought she should […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 11 - 2011 5 Comments READ FULL POST

So the last post I posted about Mother’s Day was the nice, cohesive, not-as-emotional post. This is the emotional post. lol I’ve gotta say, if there’s anything I’m bitter about, it’s probably that I didn’t/don’t have “real” parents. Maybe it’s weird for me to say that. But I don’t think anybody who abuses their children is a real parent. They are the biological parents, yes, but their job as a parent is to care for their children, to nurture them, […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 8 - 2011 7 Comments READ FULL POST

I can’t say I don’t love my mom, because I do. I’ve got a card to send her, even though I was given specific instructions to NOT contact them. But besides the ‘real’ mothers, I’ve decided to celebrate US…the second mothers. The ones who took care of many of our siblings, often underappreciated and unrecognized. In some cases, besides birthing, we have done more for our siblings than our moms have. My sister HAS raised my second youngest sister. Abby […]

Posted by Phoenix On May - 8 - 2011 3 Comments READ FULL POST
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Welcome! This is my space on the internet to explore myself and my life and find my courage to turn into a queen. My Quilt No content on this blog may be used or reproduced elsewhere without a link back.

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